


It's Just A Scene, Right?

by Darkchrisbarrieblood



Category: Chris Barrie - Fandom, Red Dwarf RPF
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, F/M, Father and Son, Hand Jobs, M/M, Questioning bisexuality, Red Dwarf episode rehersal, Red Dwarf series 11
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-28 09:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2728025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchrisbarrieblood/pseuds/Darkchrisbarrieblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Craig get a surprising scene from Doug for series XI of Red Dwarf which they would never thought would happen: Rimmer and Lister have sex (sort of). What makes it worse is that Chris' wife asks Chris whether he is bisexual due to the stag night party they had before retaking their vows and finding Chris and Craig naked together in bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thinking about the scene...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Safara for Betaing my work. I apologise for spelling errors or if it seems to weird.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Craig discuss the scene

Night had come quicker than Chris had first thought, it hadn’t seemed long since he and Craig were getting lunch together at the bar, and now, here he was, in his pyjamas in bed.  
As he lay there and glanced up at the dark ceiling above him, he heard Craig turning a page.  
“You still awake?” Craig called over from his bed.  
“Yes.” Chris replied simply and turned to Craig as he turned his light on.  
“You read this?” Craig said and continued to examine the same pages over and over.  
“Yes; many times.” Chris sighed. It was probably one of the worst scenes which he would have to perform as an actor.  
“How you think it will go?” Craig asked and said some of the lines out loud.  
“I don’t know, but we are the only ones who have it.” Chris said and recalled his long discussion with Doug over lunch.  
“Really?” Craig asked surprised.  
“Yes. He wants to see what we think and if we feel comfortable with it.” Chris said and began to think of what his wife would say; she didn’t like when he was naked on stage covering himself, although she wasn’t married to him at the time.  
“So?” Craig asked and turned to Chris.  
He didn’t quite know how to reply; in one way he didn’t mind what he did as long as Alecks was happy and was paid for it. However, it would mean suggesting actions which he didn’t want.  
“Well, I mean its just a scene right, I mean no one will know about…” Chris began and stopped.  
“No.” Craig smiled and got up out of bed and walked over to him. “No one will, why, that’s what you’re scared of?”  
Chris nodded slightly. “ I mean Alecks has been asking me questions about my…drives recently and.”  
“So?”  
“Don’t you think she is suspicious how I'm always with you?” Chris asked and stared daggers into him.  
“No. I mean Danny and Robert are together most of the time.” Craig said; a good comeback.  
“Craig, she saw us naked together.” Chris said and embarrassment began to form inside him.  
“So…” Craig said, knowing he was defeated.  
“That night was hard to explain.”  
“Well you were drunk.” Craig laughed and knelt next to him.  
“Yes, but asking you to…isn’t normal even when drunk.” Chris began, feeling uneasy and clenching his stomach as he spoke.  
“Alright, well, ask her tomorrow then.” Craig said and stroked Chris’s forehead.  
“I will.” Chris replied and watched as Craig returned to his bed.  
As Craig left him, he began to dread this career choice; why couldn’t he be a bus driver for once? Yes he wouldn’t have Alecks or the money but it would have been a heck of a lot easier.  
Looking back up at the ceiling, a small amount of arousal start to build up. He was nervous, why now? Why had Doug written such a scene? Chris knew fans were priority but surely his welfare must be more important.  
As Chris closed his eyes to sleep, he began to imagine his boys at home watching the new series, wondering why their father was being, suggestive. Then, he imagined Nakila; in hospital still after she was brutally attacked by those girls. Finally being able to sleep, he hoped that the next day would be slightly better than today.


	2. Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning and Chris gets a call from Alecks

“Wake up sleepy.” Craig said and pulled the covers off Chris; revealing Chris’s pyjama shirt and red shorts. Chris woke up suddenly as the coldness hit his legs; shorts not covering them too well.  
“We need to get there earlier if we want to consult Doug about ‘ _the scene’_ ” Craig laughed and then left.   
Chris groaned and rubbed his eyes as he sat up; morning already?   
He looked at himself in the mirror opposite his bed; he was still okay, but was he well enough to act? When Craig was out of range, he lifted up his shirt and looked at the wound which ran down his left hand side ribs. Just looking at the bandage encasing it made him sore and gave him the urge to wince.  
“Craig and Alecks don’t know.” Chris muttered to himself and placed the shirt down so they wouldn’t know.   
Passing Craig’s wardrobe, Chris noticed somethings in there. As he took a closer look, he knew straight away what they were. Shuddering, Chris picked up Craig’s script which he had laid on the bed and flicked through it.  
“Morning.” Craig said, frying something in a pan “Im making breakfast.”  
“Thanks.” Chris said and sat in his normal seat at the coffee table; opposite the balcony so he could watch Craig as he smoked.   
Hearing the bacon fry, he glanced over at his coat pocket; hearing a virbrating sound.   
“Yours” Craig shouted.   
“How do you know?” Chris asked; hoping it wasn’t his wife.  
“Mine don’t vibrate in that pattern.” Craig smiled invoice and continued to fry.   
Groaning, Chris picked up his phone from his coat pocket and looked at it; it was Alecks.   
“Take it on the balcony.” Craig shouted and watched as Chris went out.  


“hello?” he said into his phone, hoping it wasnt…  
“Hi Chrissy.” Alecks replied, sound happy for a moment.  
“You okay?” he asked her; worrying about the nature of her call.  
“Yes Im fine. I just wanted to check you were.” She said sweetly.   
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Chris asked and looked back over at Craig who was putting bacon on a plate.  
“Doug’s told me about the scene...” Alecks said simply and was silentfor a few seconds .  
“oh.” Chris replied; nerves beginning to react with him.  
“yes. I asked him about it and he says that you need to talk to him.” Alecks said, sounding genuinely concerned.  
“I know.” Chris said, “Im going to at lunch.”  
“Good. I don’t want you doing anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with.” She smiled in her voice. Her smile made Chris feel love ; love which he could only get from her.   
“Chris, I need to ask you this..” She said nervously, while playing with something in her hands.  
“What?” Chris asked, worried again.  
“Are you, you know...’buttered both sides’...”   
“I don’t know what you mean?”, Chris’s denial indivcating he didn’t want to answer her.  
“You know, do you go for men and women.” She asked, trembling slightly.   
“No....” Chris said simply “No I only have eyes for you darling.”   
Alecks smiled, “I know, its just, Doug asked me to ask you.”  
“Why?”  
“Dont know. Alright,bye.” She replied and hung up.   



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the phone conversation with Alecks, Chris reads the scene...

“How was she?” Craig asked, placing a plate on Chris’s normal place. “alright.” Chris replied, putting the phone back in his pocket.  
“Sure?” Craig asked, turning off the hobs.  
“She asked whether I’m bisexual but....” Chris said finally, breathing a sigh of relief.  
“What?” Craig said and sat at his place.  
“Yeah. She asked whether I go for men and women. I think she was referencing the stag night.”  
“She found us naked so?” Craig said and placed a hand out for Chris’s. “well, surely she would be the slightest bit concerned considering it was _before_ retaking our vows.” Chris said angrily and looked at the coffee lying in front of him.  
“Yes. But I mean we were drunk, well you were.” Craig said. “Remember that night?”  
“Yes.” Chris said and tried to not think of the sex he and Craig had done together; with the other man leading.  
“You don’t, regret it do you?” Craig asked and held Chris’s hand.  
Chris looked down at Craig’s had that was grasping his and smiled “of course not.”  
“Good.” Craig said and leaned his face closer.  
Chris bit his lip, “Maybe I should eat now.”  
“Yeah.” Craig replied and managed to pull himself away.  
Watching as the other one ate, they both began to think of the scene. It was a good thing it wasn’t as sexy as they would have thought; showing them blowing eachother; it was only implied. They both wondered whether Doug, Robert and Danny knew about the stag night event.  
“So, that stag night eh?” Craig smiled, eating his sandwich.  
“Can we stop talking about it?” Chris replied simply and wiped his face with his napkin.  
“Why?”  
“Because I can’t remember most of it, besides...”Chris began, clenching his fists as he began to feel the warmth of that night; it was several months ago but it stayed inside his mind.  
“Oh yeah, I know you’d remember it.” Craig laughed, “I did.”  
As Chris continued to eat, he wanted to skip these next two weeks and go onto the next one; an episode where he could see Nakila again.  
Finishing breakfast, Chris got up and placed his place on the draining board and washed his hands. Splashing some on his t-shirt by accident, he began to worry; it was soaking wet, but he couldn’t show Craig them. “Get wet?” Craig asked.  
“No.” Chris replied and looked at his chest through the top of the shirt. A bandage was pressuring the wound around his chest; to stop it bleeding like it did last night. Craig got up and placed his plate next to Chris’s. “Take it off Chris; its soaking.” Craig said; but Chris heard Alecks voicespeak to him.  
As he lifted the shirt andtook it off,he heard Craig gasp as he saw it. “What the fuck happend to you?”  
“Nothing.” Chris said, trying to say it was a fitness thing.  
“That’s not a fitness thing. Dont lie to me!” Craig shouted.  
“its nothing big.” He smiled, hiding pain as it began to remind Chris of its presence.  
“Nothing big? It seems so, it’s been bandaged.”  
“Alright, it was from the accident.” Chris said, eyes tearing up as he hated admitting it.  
“Oh.” Craig said in a sad tone and touching Chris’s arm which was holding the t-shirt.  
“Alecks doesn’t know about it. I suggest you keep your mouth shut.” Chris said and placed his shirt back over him; the wetness pushing the shirt back onto his stomach and making it stay there.  
“Why?”  
“If she knows...that’s it...” Chris sighed, glancing at his pass for the machine show filming building.  
“What do you mean that’s it?” Craig asked.  
“End of me.” Chris said simply and got some causal clothes ready for later on this morning.  
“It won’t be. Human errors and all.”  
“Craig you don’t understand. She doesn’t even know I have been hospitalised.”  
“How can she not know” Craig asked.  
“Because I never told her.” Chris said through gritted teeth. “Stop with the questions.”  
“Im sorry, I never knew you were so sensitive.” Craig replied and then went into the bathroom to shower.  
As Craig showered, Chris sat on his bed and read through his script. ‘ _Oh Listy, how I love you...’_ went through his mind as he continued to rehearse other lines in his head. Why was Doug doing this? Yesterday, he had told him ‘its just for the fans.’ ‘ _Oh Listy, please, don’t leave me (RIMMER gains closer and holds LISTER’s hand)’_  
“This isn’t right. “ he sighed to himself; he wasn’t gay, he loved his wife, but something about Craig made him feel loved. As he went to put the script back in his draw, he looked over at Craig’s bed. As he walked over to it, he noticed something on Craig’s bed; a letter. It had already been opened, and all Chris really wanted to do was to see who it was from. As he scanned the letter,he found his name in it. Observing it closer, it then became apparent that it was about Chris’s recent accident and Criag had been told about it; but from what Chris could gather, had forgotten all about it. Chris walked back over to his own bed as he heard the lock on the bathroom door. Hearing his footsteps come closer, he began to feel aroused again; wanting and craving the feelings.  
“Hi.” Craig said, clencing the towel close to his body and dripping water on the floor.  
“hi.” Chris replied; trying not to look at the Liverpuddlian's body.  
“How are you?” Craig asked, drying himself with the towel.  
“Fine.” Chris said and looked at the floor; desperately trying not to see his skin.  
“Good.” Craig said and put on some boxers. “you can look now you’know.” Chris glaced up; Craig was sitting on his bed putting on his t-shirt.  
“Its not good manners to look at another when they are naked.” Chris said, trying to seem sophisticated.  
“Or just the fact youre craving something.” Craig smiled and then sat next to him.  
“Well, I...”Chris said and tried to deny the meaning behind his slight twitch in his crotch.  
“Its okay. Go on, have a shower. Then we can go down and talk to Doug.” Craig said. As Chris got up, Craig touched his butt. Turning around, Chris was met with a winking Craig as he got up to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

Shutting the bathroom door behind him, Chris undressed himself and turned on the shower. As he undid the bandage around his chest, he saw the red line form around him. He examined himself, checking that his wound wasn’t bleeding and there wasn’t any abnormalities in him. Happy with himself, he then got into the shower and washed himself. The water caressed his skin as it fell onto him; taking away worry and troubles. As he rubbed the soap into his skin, he began to feel warm and happy. But, as he washed his member, he flet an emotion spike into him; lust. As he caressed it, putting one hand on the wall of the shower, he then began to realise that he needed this scene. So what if the fans thought he was bisexual; he knew he wasn’t. Alecks was against it but he could persuade her somehow to allow it to go ahead.  
“Eugh, sex is so good but, it gives problems” he thought to himself as he quietly pumped. Washing the soap off made him feel even better; it taking away even more problems but making the desire to have sex even more prominent.   
“Oh...”chris sighed; knowing there wasn’t time for him to climax. As he got out the shower , his member slightly swollen, he covered himself with the towel;tying it around his waist. Walking into the living room, he saw Craig, half dressed.  
“Hello. Feel better?” Craif asked and examined his profile.   
“yeah, I guess.”Chris lied. As Chris walked back into the bedroom, he saw craig’s jeans lying there.   
“He will be coming back for them” Chris thought and then admired himself in the mirror: how was he attractive? How come Craig wanted him a few months ago and complimented him?   
At an embarrassing moment, Craig came in, “looking good.”  
Chris ignored it and decided to dress.   
“What’s wrong?” Craig asked and got closer to Chris as he put on his boxers.   
“Nothing.” Chris replied as his default and moved his member into a more comfortable position.   
“Uncomfortable?”  
“yes.” Chris replied simply and put on his jeans before retiring to his bed.  
“What caused it?” Craig asked, sitting next to him.   
“I dont know.” Chris replied and got some dressing from his bedside cabinet.   
“Is it the scene?” Craig asked and watched as Chris bandaged himself up. Chris winced at the thought of the scene which they would have to discuss in a few hours.   
“Possibly.” He replied in a slightly deep tone. Craig edged his face closer to his, wanting to reassure him it would be okay.   
“Chris...” Craig asked.  
“What?” Chris replied and turned around. Craig’s eyes begged for a kiss, and his body edged closer to Chris’s. Chris bit his lip at the sight of Craig’s begging face. Not being able to hold back much longer, they both kissed. Craig held Chris’s head onto his so he couldnt pull away easily. Afterwards, their faces pulled away; Chris panted for breath as he recovered from the tight embrace.   
“Oh Craig...” he moaned and smiled; trying to control his rage as he moaned.   
“Thats him talking isnt it?” Craig smiled and pointed with his eyes. Chris gave a nod and bit his lip; feling it as it began to tingle.  
Craig looked at the time, “Oh crap, we’re meant to be down there by now.”  
Quickly, Chris dressed himself, got on his shoes, grabbed his script and the keys. Craig got a packet of cigarettes, his script and his coat.   
“Ready Craig?” Chris asked, trying to calm himself down. “Yes.” Craig siad and opened the door.   
“You arent looking too good.” Craig said and looked as Chris seemed a little plaler than before.   
“Im fine. I just neeed some medication.” Chris said and grabbed two long plastic pill boxes and placed them in his pocket. When he came back, he locked the door and the two of them walked down the corridor together. “whats the medication for?” Craig asked. “  
After effects of the accident.” Chris replied.   
“I see.” Craig said.  
“before you ask, no, she doesn’t know.” Chris said and clenched his fist and walked away from the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris asks Doug about why he asked Alecks about his sexuality

Doug, Craig and Chris sat at one of the tables in the Shepperton rehersal building,drinking coffee and reading the scripts. For a brief moment, no one spoke; Chris and Craig exchanged glances as they knew what the other thought and felt.  
Chris shifted his legs slightly to try and move his member from being too difficult to handle.   
“So, the scene then.” Doug said, coming in with a kettle and a caffetiér.  
“Yes.” Chris said, being the formal one and caring the most.  
“What do you think?” he asked the both of them; knowing there was some tension between them.   
“Well,” Chris and Craig said together.  
“You first.” Chris said to Craig; trying to make the time to think about his answer longer.  
“No, you. You’re always first; for Barrie and Rimmer”   
Chris sighed and then said, “Look, Im not too sure. You see, apparently you asked my wife to ask me  whether or not I'm bisexual.”  
"Yes I did."   
"Any particular reason why?"  
"I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, and I heard about the stag night from the others." Doug said.  
“And that's a reason to ask?”Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Well, if you're bisexual then you wont mind will you?” Doug said.  
"Doug, I dontn wish to be asked that.” Chris replied, clenching his fist under the table “And it shouldn’t matter about what sexuality I am. Im here to act not to be exploited because of what gender I prefer.”  
“Im sorry.” Doug said, surpised that this was a sensitive subject for Chris. “So,  what you think of the scene then?” he asked again, almost ignoring the last few minutes of the conversation.   
"I say lets do it!" Craig smiled.  
“What?” Chris asked, but then, knew what he meant. “Oh yes, I don’t mind it but I really wouldn’t like to be asked about my sexuality.”  
"Alright then boys." Doug smiled and gave Craig a piece of plain paper,  “you can write your own if you want.Just give it to me when youre finished so I can look over it.”

 

  
  



End file.
